1878

Josh rose on one elbow in their bed and gazed down on Alex’s unrepentant face. The liquid green eyes in which he had so recently drowned were closed. “Ma’am?”

His slow and quiet question caused the beginnings of a seductive smile to curl the corners of her reddened mouth. While her eyes were still closed Alex traced the tingling on her face, neck and breasts and knew the culprit to be Josh’s thick moustache. She awoke fully and observed him in return, committing to memory the steps she had taken to see this Arizona Marshal without his hat. The object of her quiet amusement now reposed on the inside handle of their bedroom door. No longer shadowed by his hat, Josh’s eyes were open and honest, though a little troubled.

“Please Josh, ‘Ma’am’ is for old married ladies and I’m neither, yet.” Her next comment was much softer, a tone suited to imparting secrets. “Just for you, now, my name is Alexandria.” Her smile grew and altered to sweet innocence. Although she judged him tough and experienced in many ways it would not do to shock him any further, not this soon.

“I can tell that, Ma … Alexandria” he corrected. “That’s a pretty name.” He shrugged with one shoulder. “Just that I’m used to calling ladies ‘Ma’am’.” She reached up and gently brushed her fingers through his dark hair. “Anyhow, I can’t go calling you by your given name in public.” Alex knotted her fingers in the hair at the nape of Josh’s neck and nodded gravely in agreement. He was so charmingly old-fashioned, but then Alex remembered when she was and realised she was the one with the out-of-place manners. “It wouldn’t be … decent.” He hesitated as she stretched up to kiss him again, then completed his words, the last of which hung in the air between them.

Then he grinned and suddenly looked quite boyish, despite the thick moustache. “Miz Baintree is probably already speculating ’bout you calling me ‘Josh’ when ‘Mr Eberhardt’ t’d be more proper.” This glimpse of a mischievous sense of humour surprised and delighted Alex. She squirmed her other hand under Josh’s ribs. He moved to accommodate her as she drew herself closer to him, wrapping her arms around him.

“Well Mr Eberhardt, I have no wish to cause you any distress through my indecent behaviour” Alex retorted. She chuckled and rolled her hips against Josh, totally at odds with her words. “However, I should warn you that I have never cared that much for conventions. I am neither saint or … sinner.” A harsher word had been in her thoughts but she considered his ‘old-fashioned’ manners and softened it. “I long ago made peace with the woman that I am, and I will be no other.”

“You’re certainly … something.” He said the last word very softly and although Alex had to strain her ears she heard it quite clearly. There was a light in his eyes that reminded her of the way ‘old’ Josh had looked at her such a short time ago. That startling warmth of gaze from a stranger had shocked her at the time, but if Josh had held her in that regard for nearly fifty years he must have cared very deeply for her. Alex knew she was very in love with Josh, but in the space of a day? No, in the space of a glance.

From the first time she saw him riding toward her in the Arizona desert she had felt the heat of his presence. An answering fever had grown inside of her, broken only by their loving and now glowing like embers within her. It took all of her considerable courage to love so strongly, so suddenly, in their current situation. However long they had together, she would spend it well.

Alex moved her leg over his then slid her knee towards his hip, taking more of his weight as he sighed and turned into her embrace. “You were going to say?” she prompted gently, as his arms slid under her back, beneath her pillow to where he could brace himself with the bed rail. Josh delayed his answer until he had some control over his breathing and his heartbeat, which Alex could feel as he lay against her. He looked down into her green eyes and caught the flash of guilty amusement.

“Oh, yes. I got side-tracked.” His mouth was only inches from hers, and too tempting a target for her to resist. She side-tracked him again. “You’re a downright distracting woman, Alexandria.” It was almost possible to hear him rolling her name about his mouth, tasting and savouring it. Alex decided not to interrupt, but she followed his words with her own quiet thoughts.

“Yeah, what I was going to say was, well, I don’t do … things, normally.” No you don’t, my love. You do them very well. “I mean things like … you know.” Alex’s hand strayed from Josh’s back, down along his spine to the curve of his hip. “Just that you … you’re different.” Yes Josh, I’m from fifty years in your future.

“Preacher says only … ” oh no, here comes trouble “… certain womenfolk do …”. Alex shifted her hand out around Josh’s hip then back lightly to the base of his spine. Her other hand stroked between his shoulder blades. What I’ve already done to you or what I’m thinking of doing to you next? She moved her hand down along his spine to meet the other one in the hollow of his back. “But what would he know?” said Josh, his voice rising slightly. Absolutely nothing! Alex laid her palms against Josh’s skin then slowly and firmly slid her hands out over his hips, up along his sides then under his arms to his chest, where she buried her fingers in the dark hair.

“Wife has the personality and face of a prune!” Her laughter shook them both and provided the distraction she needed to move her hands further down Josh’s chest. “Just that I know you aren’t what Preacher and such like would say. You act different, don’t mean you’re bad.” Bad, you mean a whore, don’t you Josh? Her hands stopped. “I always knew that, and I don’t think that of you now, Alexandria, though you may have heard that men are supposed to think … that.”

He stopped talking abruptly. “I’ve gone and spoilt things now with my runaway mouth, haven’t I? Just thought I had to let you know how I felt, and that I … feel for you. I … care for you and I don’t hold with what men are supposed to think.” He stopped, groaned in distress and buried his face in the pillow beside her head. “Damn it, why did I try to talk? Aren’t any good at talking. I’d best be going Ma’am.”

“My name is Alexandria. No you can’t go yet and you don’t need words to tell me how you feel. I’m not ‘bad’. I love you and I don’t know how much time we will have together, so please don’t go just yet.” Alex wrapped her arms around Josh again and stretched up to kiss him, first lightly then with increasing passion. A soft, low groan escaped from Josh as he pushed her leg out from under him with his knee. She felt his breathing and heartbeat quicken against her and she shifted her hips to ease his demand of her. Before her senses and attention spiralled down to match his strengthening rhythm, Alex smirked to think that, with any luck, the good citizens of Kennetton Wells, Arizona wouldn’t see their Marshal until well after dawn.

It was early morning, or actually late morning. Well, decided Alex at last, later in the morning than her previous discussion with Josh. She stretched luxuriously. So, this was how the cat that swallowed the cream felt! She attempted to leave Josh undisturbed. For the moment she wanted to look at him in the bright, harsh light that fought its way through Freddie’s rich, cream lace curtains.

“Alexandria. That’s a city in Egypt, isn’t it?” asked Josh. He hadn’t shifted a muscle but it seemed her minimal movement had woken him. Alex recalled his profession and its dangers, suddenly glad that he slept lightly. In a moment of irrational panic, a fear of losing what she had only so recently gained, she embraced him tightly, resting her cheek against his now stubbly one.

Josh’s arm closed around her shoulders, making her aware of his strength. He kissed the top of her head through her tousled red hair. “Repository of all wisdom, I heard” he continued. “Pappy said women were the holders of all wisdom and a man just had to be content to bear with all she knew and wouldn’t tell. You have the feel of that library. I feel like I’m being outmanoeuvred. Guess Pappy would have said it’s too late for me now.” He began to nibble gently on Alex’s ear lobe, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. She had to concentrate hard on what he had just said before a question occurred to her.

“Why would Pappy have said it’s too late?” Josh stopped teasing and regarded her solemnly. “Well Alexandria, you asked.” His expression changed to a confused grin that reminded Alex of someone who had just been given an unexpected gift. “Pappy could’ve seen I’m hopelessly … entwined. Pappy was … observant.” Alex chuckled. “Pappy sounds too dangerous to me! Sounds like he knew too many of the secrets we keep from men.” While Josh was considering the implications of her last statement Alex began to caress him in a manner that would eventually draw a powerful response. However, it was not the expected result that surprised her, but the wonder on his face as he allowed her caresses to bring on his ultimate pleasure.

As Josh lay quietly recovering his ability to speak, Alex contemplated his self-restraint. He had so far shown a great deal of consideration and restraint. Perhaps he thought she’d break. Alex was determined to correct that belief by showing him just how resilient she was in the current circumstances. “Don’t know if you know this Alexandria, but I can’t keep on doing this sort of thing, I ain’t Casanova. ‘Sides, I’m older than you! Treat me gentle.” Alex was just about to dispute Josh’s last statements when he began a gentle exploration of her body, sliding his hands over her skin while carefully watching her face for clues. She covered his right hand with her own and guided his first lesson on how to touch her to best effect. He was a very perceptive student and as the end of the lesson shook through her he smothered her sighs with a kiss.

When Alex opened her eyes again Josh was watching her still. “Can’t rightly recollect ever seeing really green eyes before” he said as his hold on her tightened. “Look at you, and I can’t believe this is happening. Never thought I had anything to offer a lady before”. He kissed her again. “Nothing this fine, this good, wonderful has ever happened to me before. Only thing that comes vaguely close is after the bombardment at Gettysberg. The Tenth were hit hard. My horse was killed and I was stunned. I lay there on the ground, then it trickled into my mind that I was still alive, thank God.

“I looked up at the sky, the smoke hadn’t blotted it out yet, and it was so blue, with just a couple of puffy little grey-white clouds. Despite the cannons and the musketry there was a robin singing just behind our positions, if you’d believe it! I forgot it over the next few hours, but I remembered what I felt later that afternoon. Never forgot since.” Josh gazed earnestly into Alex’s eyes. “What I feel now is sort of what I felt then, but a lot more so. Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Alexandria?” His voice became more uncertain so Alex encouraged him. “Yes Josh, I understand what you’re saying.”

He looked relieved, but then, even more uncertainly, continued. “There was something you said last night.” Alex was suddenly worried. “What did I say last night, in particular?” She couldn’t remember any specific words that may have upset him. “Perhaps I was dreaming … ” he continued in a much lower voice, “but I hope not. You said you weren’t bad. Well, heck, I always knew that. Then it seems to me you said … that you loved me.” The last of his words were barely audible and his eyes avoided hers. Alex took his face in her hands and kissed him. “I love you, Josh.”

Josh stared at her, still not quite believing what he heard. “I said I wasn’t good with words and these are hard to say for a man who has never had call to say them before, but … I love you too Alexandria. Its like fire inside, burning but not burning me up. I didn’t know it was possible to feel like this.” He buried his face in her hair, tumbled over the pillow between them like red silk, and breathed deeply of its scent. He raised his head and looked at her again. “Alexandria.”

1925

Josh wandered around Kennetton Wells stunned. Only Alex’s presence saved him from crawling into a corner and bawling like a child. Yesterday, just yesterday, it had been so alive. Now look. Where was Jabez now, and Freddie, Blake, Rufus, Vince and the others he’d become friends with. Blindly he turned to Alex and embraced her, burying the outside world in her comfort for a while. Retreating to the cool jail again, a building with no windows, he sat close to Alex, arm around her legs and cheek against her knees. Her hand soothingly stroked his thick hair.

“Had a weird dream last night” he said suddenly. Alex guessed he talked to take his mind off the present which wasn’t his any more. “And I just realised how much I hate Diaz. I know a bit how those poor fellas he kidnapped must have felt, though they didn’t have you.” He sighed and rubbed his cheek against her leg. Then he shook his head in confusion. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

“The dream?” prompted Alex. “Yeah” he responded musingly. “I dreamt I was old and living in Winston. I went back to Kenneton Wells and nailed a message and my badge to the back of this drawer” he said, indicating a drawer in a large desk by one wall. “Then I took out a bundle of ‘Enquirers’ from the middle of the run and put out a bunch of wanted posters I’d gotten Dutchy to print somehow before he left. After that I went to Winston and waited until you came with Frank and Runyard. Seeing you in that dream I felt like I hadn’t seen you for nearly fifty years. That really tore me up because I couldn’t tell you what I was doing to you.” His voice died away, but when he started again he sounded puzzled and confused. “It’s all getting hazy now, fading. Did it really happen or was it a dream. We had to meet, didn’t we?” he said, gazing desperately into her calm green eyes. Alex looked down into his troubled face and tried to think of what she could say to ease his pain.

“The first time I saw you was at Winston. You looked at me with a warmth that went straight to my heart. Something happened and I regretted not being fifty years older, wished you were fifty years younger. It is fading from your mind now Josh, but it did happen. You sent me back across the years and then there you were, riding up the road toward me. Suddenly age wasn’t a problem, but you didn’t know me. I could have given anything to see that look in your eyes again. I all but dragged you into Freddie’s upstairs bedroom. I have never behaved like that before in my life, Josh. Heaven only knows what the others thought of my carrying on like that.”

“But you know something, Josh? I stood there in the upstairs hall just behind you when Diaz attacked Freddie’s saloon. You may have thought that a gun and a pair of trousers was enough dressing for other company, but add your lack of clothes to my thin silk robe, tousled hair and rosy complexion and Frank and Runyard must have drawn the obvious conclusion. But I didn’t care, I looked them straight in the eye. If any other woman had been in that hallway at that instant I think I would have spat and snarled at her. You were my man, mine, and you had so recently proven that. I could have strangled Diaz with my bare hands just because he interrupted us. I was so happy when you came back to my bed, happier still when you put Diaz out of your mind and got back to where I wanted you.”

“That look you gave me at Winston lit the fuse, last night was the explosion, today we count the cost. You have lost so much, your whole life lies fifty years in the past. Forgive me Josh, but I would have torn down Kenneton Wells myself if it meant I could keep you with me. I will make you another home here with me. Just please don’t say it was all my fault.”

Alex wrapped her arms around Josh and held on tight. She felt so guilty, he had paid such a high price for her selfishness. If he rejected her now she didn’t think she would cope at all. Alex was frightened of what Josh had unleashed inside of her. She was no blushing virgin, but she wasn’t a ‘woman of the world’ either. She had to come to terms with this sudden passion, this desire that burned through her every time she thought of him. Still, if she could make him as happy as he was last night again, then these feelings must not be so bad. Alex had often thought about her lapsed Catholicism, she had differed with Father Thomas on so many points. The joy that a touch from Josh brought her did not fit with her concept of ‘sin’, but she still felt vaguely guilty about pleasures of the flesh being that good. Perhaps her Hollywood friends were right all along, there really was no guilt or shame attached to loving a man with her body as well as her soul.

In the cool of the jail house her thoughts turned to her future with this man. Alex decided that she would be agreeable to anything that Josh wanted to do, including where he might want to live and what he might want to do for a living. Alex had plans to build a Spanish style ranch house in the Hollywood hills. Perhaps he would like that. She had friends in Hollywood, some of whom were drawn from the ‘Western’ set. Josh would probably have a lot in common with Tom and some of his cohorts. All Alex had to do was come up with a plausible background for Josh, which had better be pretty good if they were going to get past Tom Mix without rousing his suspicions.

She knew film writers and directors with similar backgrounds. Josh’s skill with a gun was phenomenal and his reflexes were very fast. What would he do for excitement after having been a Marshal? Alex had a friend who was a private investigator, perhaps a few words with Simon might prove fruitful. On second thought, did she really want the man she loved in such a dangerous occupation? Still, all that could wait until they returned home and Josh had time to learn the difference between 1878 and 1925.

Josh had been thinking about the ‘recent’ past and the possible future in the awkward silence that followed Alex’s admissions. He knew he could not leave her thinking that his current situation was all her fault, so he spent a few moments collecting his thoughts before he replied. “Alexandria, you came up out of those bushes like an apparition, one that was a sight for sore eyes. Saw you then, and it was like I was seeing a woman for the first time ever. You might think that was wishful thinking, looking back on what was past and putting my own interpretation on it, but I don’t think so. Maybe I should deny it, but it’d be no good. I’ve been with women before, but never ‘with’ anyone the way I was with you and sure as hell not with anyone even remotely close to what you are, or what you’ll ever be. Can’t even begin to imagine anyone who could make me stop thinking about you, wanting you, needing you.”

“You took me into your room. I was too afraid to believe I was your real choice. Couldn’t be. Like I said before, ain’t nothing this good ever happened to me before. Then, come morning you said the magic spell and I was enchanted. It don’t seem to be the sort of spell that may wear off.” Josh smiled at Alex, slowly and tenderly and still with that bewildered air of disbelief. “Sure as hell hope not, anyhow! Alexandria, there ain’t nohow that a man could keep anything else in his mind when a witch like you is next to him. And when she’s nested in his heart … well, the heart rules the brain, or so I reckon. Pappy said so, too. Ain’t as much damage as you might surmise. Hell of a shock, and I might take quite a while to recover. Sure, I left a whole lot of friends behind, but they survived before I met them. I got on before I met them. I figure though, I’ve still got my best friend with me. Perhaps forever, I pray.”

Josh stopped to embrace Alex, breathing in her scent and kissing her ear, her cheek, her mouth. “How do you think I would have felt if you’d gone back to your time, leaving me? Fifty years of desolating loneliness. Without you, knowing that you’re going to be out there, but never able to see you. Getting old, sick, waiting for you and knowing, adoring you, that I can’t ever tell you what I feel. An old man, a stranger. Tearing apart with agony over what I feel but can’t ever say.” Josh waited for those words to sink in before he continued.

“Your fault? It was your doing all right, but your fault? No, don’t be silly. I have lost a lot. My whole life, so far, lies fifty years in the past. The rest, all that lies in the future with you and by you for as long as you’ll have me. Figure I’ve come out with one hell of a big pot, my Alexandria.” He stroked her hair and kissed her again. “You’re just going to have to put up with my ignorance, and be willing to have me following you round like a coyote pup after a two week old bone.” Josh paused again and grinned. “That ain’t hardly a real complimentary analogy, is it?” His grin grew wider. “Old bone.”